Every year I can't wait to watch the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer special hosted by a claymation Burl Ives. I love the way the little wooden animals and people move (or don't move) and I love love love the little elf named Herbie who wants to be a dentist. So last night I was in The Position (the beached whale on the bed one) and flipped on the TV at 8:00 to partake in this lively programming. I hadn't seen it in a few years and whether pregnancy is making me see things differently or whether I'd forgotten the premise of the tale in the first place, I was amazed to find myself yelling out loud "THIS SUCKS." What horrible, horrible characters. First of all, Santa is a total asshole. You read right -- he's a an asshole. The first time he sees little Rudolph's red nose he tells his father that he hopes he grows out of it because no reindeer with a red nose is going to work on his team. I was surprised he didn't do a neck wring and say "aiight, bitch" afterwards. In turn, Rudolph's parents are totally embarrassed because the nose is red and lights up. Instead of the difference being something wondrous and lovely (come on, wouldn't you want your nose to light up?), they put dirt on it to hide and even fashion a huge black rubber ball to put over it that makes Rudolph "talk funny." There's no talk, mention or hint to just accept the nose and move on. Quick cut to Herbie painting a red wagon lazily. He clearly isn't into his work and gets taunted by his fellow elves for wanting to be dentist. Well, excuse Herbie for wanting be more than he can be! Turns out that both Herbie and Rudolph end up leaving their jobs/homes (did I mention that Rudolph is like, a baby at this point Way to parent!) After much singing about "misfits" Rudolph and Herbie come home months later - MONTHS - and Rudolph is a total mensch to Santa when Christmas hits and ain't nobody can see nothin'. All of a sudden Herbie gets to be a dentist too, after he successfully removes all the Abominable Monsters' teeth. Everybody loves Rudolph and Herbie NOW and Rudolph and Herbie seem none worse for the wear. Except me. I now hate this program!
Saturday, December 18, 2004
Rudolph and Dentist Elf Remembered
Copyright 2007
love your book. do you know ron gompertz at www.chrismukkah.com
also funny stuff.
btw, write a letter to bubbie and zadie, free, at
bubbie.zadie@gmail.com
they will answer. sure.
shalomy
danny
yes, HUMOR makes the world go around. in asia too. usa and europe got to lighten up a bit. asia rules. get outside the jewish-christian mindset for a while, outside the judeo-christian mythset, and you will see a huge ne world of humor too. SMILE
danny
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