When I told people that we were honeymooning in Iceland I was met with some quizzical looks. "No, it's the GREEN one," I would say in defense to their awestruck faces. Doug and I aren't beach people and taking a trip to a large European city seemed wrong. But visiting a place with wacky nature, natural hot springs and a thriving music scene seemed just up our collective alleys. Who cared if it was THOUSANDS of dollars to get there?
Flying business class is great. A swank lounge with Internet access, free sandwiches and a fake water fountain! I was so excited. Plus we had the first two seats in first class which meant no one was in front of us. We were tired from the night before but as soon as we really got moving, we found that we couldn't sleep a wink. The flight was only 4 1/2 hours though and there would be time enough to sleep in Iceland at our deluxe hotel. We arrived in Reykjavik at 6:00AM to a barren airport with cool seats that looked like they were made from 1960s fabric. Onto the FlyBus. This was what this mode of transport was called. I half expected Raj or Rerun to be waiting there for us. Unfortunately there was nothin' supafly about this vehicle. It was packed to the gills with tourists. Mean age was I dunno, 65. Everyone (including us) was in fleece something or other. We looked like a bad Old Navy commercial.
It was a cloudy, rainy day. Maybe it would clear up? Or then maybe it could please rain harder as we approached our hotel? Yeah, it could do that. Also, could we please be greeted by a guy that looked like constipated celery? And could he please tell us in a gleefully sinister manner that our room wouldn't be ready until 2:00 that day? I was too numb to cry. Instead I looked at Doug and mumbled "6 hours?" Clerk Ice Ice Baby had a face etched in cement with just as much expression. Then I remembered that I had a voucher for a morning tour of Reykjavik, but that wasn't until 9:30. "Go have breakfast" celery said. Then he took our credit card number so he could charge us for it (however, to his credit it did not surface on our bill). We helped ourselves to that canned fruit cocktail my mother used to serve us for dessert and some hard-boiled eggs. Umm umm. Unbeknownst to me, those eggs were a foreshadowing moment. But no time for that now, our mini tour bus was waiting!
We took that small bus to another larger bus (a recurring theme to our everyday activities.) As we climbed on board we saw other travelers from our flight. Our tour guide, a woman named Inga, spoke in broken English as she pointed out such sites as the amputee factory, houses made of "turd" (I am sure I heard her wrong, but that's what it sounded like) and "dog"s toilet island." I wish I was making this up.
We made stops at a public swimming pool to watch elderly ladies in bathing caps sit in "hot pots." I can't remember where we went after that. I only know that when we got back to the hotel 3 hours later, our room still wasn't ready. When we did get into our suite I bum-rushed the bathroom to get into the tub. But as the barrel was filling up, I got me a stench 'o rotten ova. Iceland's water is full of sulfur it would seem.
Calgon take me away!
And when we climbed into bed, we had another surprise. Our suite was big but for some reason our bed was two beds pushed together. Just loved sleeping on the crack! Way to have a honeymoon! Our stay, however, was short - just 4 days. In that time we found out a couple of things (there was time, it rained almost every day!) One: there are only 12 Jews in all of Iceland (out of 285,000 people). They get together every Rosh Hashanah and Passover. Two: the country is very large and full of rocks. After awhile, all the rocks look the same. Three: There ain't nothin' to do! Four: It's a little boring there. Five: Nothing against the Icelandic people, but please don't serve me a chicken sandwich with a big ole piece of ham on top of it. I don't like that.
Question: What I want to know is, how come I hear of people going to Iceland and saying how cool it is? Are you embarrassed not to? What's the deal, yo?
Sure, it was fun in its way. We went to the Blue Lagoon, the famous hot spring. And sure, it may have been raining and a cold 50 degrees outside, but it was surreal and nice. The problem with Iceland wasn't really the fact that there weren't mid-ranged restaurants, interesting fashion, and a climate that didn't have sideways blowing rain. The real problem with Iceland is that it felt like a suburb of Europe. And then there's the no Jew thing. (Was it just us who were a little uncomfortable to see the big building in downtown Reykjavik with a blue swastika on it? Are we being too sensitive?) We were told that this was there way before Hitler and that it was actually a railroad company logo. I believed the tour guide but the fact that it wasn't taken down, kinda proves my point that the city just felt like it had given up. The people didn't even carry umbrellas in the rain.
Doug and I made the best of it, more anxious than ever to get back to New York. Not only for the food and life and sun, but because we want to start our lives together. The wedding is over. The honeymoon is over. Or as his mom says "New York is a honeymoon spot for a lot of people. Maybe your whole life is going to be your honeymoon."
Maybe, indeed.
Flying business class is great. A swank lounge with Internet access, free sandwiches and a fake water fountain! I was so excited. Plus we had the first two seats in first class which meant no one was in front of us. We were tired from the night before but as soon as we really got moving, we found that we couldn't sleep a wink. The flight was only 4 1/2 hours though and there would be time enough to sleep in Iceland at our deluxe hotel. We arrived in Reykjavik at 6:00AM to a barren airport with cool seats that looked like they were made from 1960s fabric. Onto the FlyBus. This was what this mode of transport was called. I half expected Raj or Rerun to be waiting there for us. Unfortunately there was nothin' supafly about this vehicle. It was packed to the gills with tourists. Mean age was I dunno, 65. Everyone (including us) was in fleece something or other. We looked like a bad Old Navy commercial.
It was a cloudy, rainy day. Maybe it would clear up? Or then maybe it could please rain harder as we approached our hotel? Yeah, it could do that. Also, could we please be greeted by a guy that looked like constipated celery? And could he please tell us in a gleefully sinister manner that our room wouldn't be ready until 2:00 that day? I was too numb to cry. Instead I looked at Doug and mumbled "6 hours?" Clerk Ice Ice Baby had a face etched in cement with just as much expression. Then I remembered that I had a voucher for a morning tour of Reykjavik, but that wasn't until 9:30. "Go have breakfast" celery said. Then he took our credit card number so he could charge us for it (however, to his credit it did not surface on our bill). We helped ourselves to that canned fruit cocktail my mother used to serve us for dessert and some hard-boiled eggs. Umm umm. Unbeknownst to me, those eggs were a foreshadowing moment. But no time for that now, our mini tour bus was waiting!
We took that small bus to another larger bus (a recurring theme to our everyday activities.) As we climbed on board we saw other travelers from our flight. Our tour guide, a woman named Inga, spoke in broken English as she pointed out such sites as the amputee factory, houses made of "turd" (I am sure I heard her wrong, but that's what it sounded like) and "dog"s toilet island." I wish I was making this up.
We made stops at a public swimming pool to watch elderly ladies in bathing caps sit in "hot pots." I can't remember where we went after that. I only know that when we got back to the hotel 3 hours later, our room still wasn't ready. When we did get into our suite I bum-rushed the bathroom to get into the tub. But as the barrel was filling up, I got me a stench 'o rotten ova. Iceland's water is full of sulfur it would seem.
Calgon take me away!
And when we climbed into bed, we had another surprise. Our suite was big but for some reason our bed was two beds pushed together. Just loved sleeping on the crack! Way to have a honeymoon! Our stay, however, was short - just 4 days. In that time we found out a couple of things (there was time, it rained almost every day!) One: there are only 12 Jews in all of Iceland (out of 285,000 people). They get together every Rosh Hashanah and Passover. Two: the country is very large and full of rocks. After awhile, all the rocks look the same. Three: There ain't nothin' to do! Four: It's a little boring there. Five: Nothing against the Icelandic people, but please don't serve me a chicken sandwich with a big ole piece of ham on top of it. I don't like that.
Question: What I want to know is, how come I hear of people going to Iceland and saying how cool it is? Are you embarrassed not to? What's the deal, yo?
Sure, it was fun in its way. We went to the Blue Lagoon, the famous hot spring. And sure, it may have been raining and a cold 50 degrees outside, but it was surreal and nice. The problem with Iceland wasn't really the fact that there weren't mid-ranged restaurants, interesting fashion, and a climate that didn't have sideways blowing rain. The real problem with Iceland is that it felt like a suburb of Europe. And then there's the no Jew thing. (Was it just us who were a little uncomfortable to see the big building in downtown Reykjavik with a blue swastika on it? Are we being too sensitive?) We were told that this was there way before Hitler and that it was actually a railroad company logo. I believed the tour guide but the fact that it wasn't taken down, kinda proves my point that the city just felt like it had given up. The people didn't even carry umbrellas in the rain.
Doug and I made the best of it, more anxious than ever to get back to New York. Not only for the food and life and sun, but because we want to start our lives together. The wedding is over. The honeymoon is over. Or as his mom says "New York is a honeymoon spot for a lot of people. Maybe your whole life is going to be your honeymoon."
Maybe, indeed.