I know this sentence will no doubt sound inane but here goes. I cannot stop thinking about this week's episode of Sex and the City. Especially the dramatic fight between Carrie and Miranda. See. Carrie quits her job and says that she is moving to Paris with her wealthy artist boyfriend and Miranda is freaked out by it, insinuating to Carrie that she is leaving everything inherent to herself. Carrie then tries to explain that she is starting something new and that she is finally happy. This hit me in my gut as something similar happened to me when I got engaged and then married. My best friend didn't seem all that happy for me and I didn't understand why. Maybe she thought that I was no longer someone she thought she could relate to, although I felt that I was still me -- only better because I was happy, more open and less neurotic. It made me so sad and since our wedding party we haven't spoken. I've tried to get in touch with her to no avail and I've tried to let it go for a long time now. But watching that damn show brought it all back to me. Only I only wish we'd had that same fight -- it would have given me some closure. So yeah, here I am in the apartment with workmen downstairs (will they ever leave or should we just adopt them?) and what comes up on my computer? Howzabout an email from this friend? Maybe she had watched the show too? So I open up the email and it's all gobbledee-gook, written totally in code. It's her email address all right but I have a feeling a virus sent it from her address book instead of her. And yes, I wrote back, asking her to resend her words to me so I can read them. And yes, here I am checking the email every two minutes. And no, she hasn't responded. I can sit here and wonder if she reads this site, if she's reading right now. But maybe I should just do like Carrie -- and move on.
God, I hate that show.
God, I hate that show.