So now not only are people mistaking Mamie for a boy (today, white tank top and pink pants), but they are calling her all sorts of names. Our doorman calls her Minnie and the nice lady at the childrens' store calls her MeiMei ("how do you pronounce her name?") Sigh. I get asked all time how it's spelled. What? Does no one know who Mamie Eisenhower was? How about Mamie Van Doren? Auntie Mame ? C'mon, somebody.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
M-A-M-I-E
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Girls' Clothes
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
I've always loved to shop. I'm a good shopper with a good eye. These days I don't shop for myself nearly as much as I used to, but I do shop for Mamie quite a bit. It's fun buying her clothes, but it's hard too. Mainly because all the really great clothes are for boys.
Little boys get to dress like little people, while the clothes for little baby girls tend to be doll-like. They get little overalls and corduroy shirts and pants that look like pants. The stuff I saw today was all glittery with weird sayings,and iron on decals of scary Bratz type chicks. True, I bought her a Sex Pistols t-shirt last week, but at least it's not so gender specific (and it's blue to boot.) And yes, we do seek out amazing stuff for her that is the right cross between girlie and normal. It just costs, like, $50 per dress. That she outgrows way too fast.
The interesting thing too is when I dress Mamie in pink, people still will come up to me and ask me how old my little boy is. It doesn't get me mad, after all, little babies with not a lot of hair I guess trigger the "he" response, but it does make me wonder if people are paying attention to color. Before Mamie was born we decided to go soft in her room with color. It's earth tones, vintage and very, very chill.
This doesn't mean that I don't hope she's a girlie girl like me. I just hope that by the time she hits the age where she really cares about clothes there's more to choose from than some of the stuff that's out there now (and that we don't go broke buying the good stuff.) Purple velvet bedazzled hipster pants? Mamie, don't even think about it!
Little boys get to dress like little people, while the clothes for little baby girls tend to be doll-like. They get little overalls and corduroy shirts and pants that look like pants. The stuff I saw today was all glittery with weird sayings,and iron on decals of scary Bratz type chicks. True, I bought her a Sex Pistols t-shirt last week, but at least it's not so gender specific (and it's blue to boot.) And yes, we do seek out amazing stuff for her that is the right cross between girlie and normal. It just costs, like, $50 per dress. That she outgrows way too fast.
The interesting thing too is when I dress Mamie in pink, people still will come up to me and ask me how old my little boy is. It doesn't get me mad, after all, little babies with not a lot of hair I guess trigger the "he" response, but it does make me wonder if people are paying attention to color. Before Mamie was born we decided to go soft in her room with color. It's earth tones, vintage and very, very chill.
This doesn't mean that I don't hope she's a girlie girl like me. I just hope that by the time she hits the age where she really cares about clothes there's more to choose from than some of the stuff that's out there now (and that we don't go broke buying the good stuff.) Purple velvet bedazzled hipster pants? Mamie, don't even think about it!
Advice, If You Want It
I got an email today that totally inspired me (hi Claudine!) It's nice to know that people out there are reading this. Cuz you see, I don't know that anyone reads this. So it's nice. Especially when she inspires you to write a new entry. Here goes.
I've been thinking a lot of all the things I've learned since I had Mamie. I'm not saying I know it all - I don't and won't ever, but I know some things. Things that might make it easier for someone else. With that said, here is a list of things that have been on my mind, which may or may not help you.
1. Being pregnant is hard. And uncomfortable. And it's weird to see your body get so big in such a short amount of time. It is totally normal to worry about your weight/size getting back to normal instead of thinking about the baby. But know this: your body will bounce back. It will. So take lots of pictures. Who cares if you look fat (and for the millionth time, it's not fat, it's baby.) Take a picture of your belly every week in the same pants, in the same position. At the end of the pregnancy, put the pictures in a stack and make a flip book of it. Great idea, right? WISH I WOULDA DONE IT.
2. Whether you decide to be totally natural or have 1001 epidurals, it's all fine. Don't be bullied into either. Do what is right for you. And if people make you feel bad about either one, change the subject, hang up the phone, distance yourself. I've found that when people are so militant about one way or the other it's because they are insecure about something. It's their trip, not yours. (A lot of time these people don't realize that what they are saying is a dis to you too, so hold back on giving them a piece of your mind -- as much as you want to -- and just do what you want.) Rinse and repeat.
3. Childbirth hurts but believe me, you've been through worse. Bad cramps, gas pains, losing your virginity. You will get through it and your husband/partner will see you as a hero and boy, will you be glad when it's over because as soon as it's over, the pain stops. And then you have a baby. A baby! So worth it.
4. Get help after the baby is born. Hire, ask, don't be shy. And when people ask you what they can bring you tell them, maxipads, food and a shoulder to cry on. Cute outfits are cute, but you don't really need those. You're gonna want the food. Tell your friends to drop off dinner and snacks because you're gonna be too tired to cook, let alone eat properly. You also may cry every day at the same time. Thoughts will range from "I'm so happy, I love my little baby," to "OHMYGOD what have I done?" Both are normal.
5. The whole breastfeeding thing: see #3. Do what is right for you and your baby. Don't be pressured. It may work out, it may not. Give yourself a break. The number one piece of advice I give to women who are pregnant is to hire a lactation consultant as soon as the baby is born. Well worth the money. You'll need someone to show you with your own titties. And call them titties if you want. Our doula keep looking at me funny every time I referenced my tits instead of breasts. Believe me, I had tits. I went from a 32A to a 34D. They were TITS.
6. Bring this stuff to the hospital: a robe that you don't care about, flip flops (in case you are sharing a bathroom), extra maxipads, snacks, moisturizer, lip gloss (For those first few pictures. Yes, you will be glowing, but a little gloss is nice too.), something comfortable to go home in, something easy to dress the baby in for the trip home, a camera, and your own pillow. Less is more.
7. Accept the fact that people are gonna say stupid stuff to you. They're gonna call your baby girl a boy, they're gonna make a face after you tell them what you've named it and if you live in a hippie crunchy area like I do, they are gonna stare at your chest to suss out if you are breastfeeding or not. When I stopped bfing, some anonymous woman in a store looked at my pancakes and asked me if I was nursing. "Just my husband," I said. Learn lines like that. It helps.
8. Take it one feeding at a time, one day at a time (not like Mackenzie Phillips though). It's hard at first and not that much fun but it gets better. Don't think too far into the future because the future is a'comin' anyway. And it's gonna be great. Know that.
9. Please, don't read any birthing books. And if you have What To Expect, throw it out. It should be called What To Fear. Enough already. Watch crap TV, read magazines and glance at books like Dr. Sears Baby Book because he doesn't believe in scaring the bejesus out of people. Please avoid watching A Baby Story on TLC. PLEASE. Also, stay away from online discussion chats. I won't go into what happened to me (ok, someone asked what I thought of the name Aryan and I went ballistic) -- not good for you or the baby.
10. Know that you can't break the baby. You may make mistakes but who doesn't? Babies cry and sometimes they poop sideways at you. They get hideous baby acne at around 3 weeks and then at around 6 weeks, well then, they smile at you. Remember that the next time they pee in your hair.
11. Go to the local mommy group. It may suck, but go. Get out. Get dressed. Don't worry, no one is really fitting into their pre-preg clothes right away. Put on some lipstick. You may or may not click with everyone, but chances are there will be one person there who gets it and gets you and you can then ditch the group and just meet with her. Oh, and don't sit next to the know-it-all mom who looks at you like she has gas.
I think that's enough for now. Heed this advice or chuck it. That's the thing, you have a choice. Remember that.
I've been thinking a lot of all the things I've learned since I had Mamie. I'm not saying I know it all - I don't and won't ever, but I know some things. Things that might make it easier for someone else. With that said, here is a list of things that have been on my mind, which may or may not help you.
1. Being pregnant is hard. And uncomfortable. And it's weird to see your body get so big in such a short amount of time. It is totally normal to worry about your weight/size getting back to normal instead of thinking about the baby. But know this: your body will bounce back. It will. So take lots of pictures. Who cares if you look fat (and for the millionth time, it's not fat, it's baby.) Take a picture of your belly every week in the same pants, in the same position. At the end of the pregnancy, put the pictures in a stack and make a flip book of it. Great idea, right? WISH I WOULDA DONE IT.
2. Whether you decide to be totally natural or have 1001 epidurals, it's all fine. Don't be bullied into either. Do what is right for you. And if people make you feel bad about either one, change the subject, hang up the phone, distance yourself. I've found that when people are so militant about one way or the other it's because they are insecure about something. It's their trip, not yours. (A lot of time these people don't realize that what they are saying is a dis to you too, so hold back on giving them a piece of your mind -- as much as you want to -- and just do what you want.) Rinse and repeat.
3. Childbirth hurts but believe me, you've been through worse. Bad cramps, gas pains, losing your virginity. You will get through it and your husband/partner will see you as a hero and boy, will you be glad when it's over because as soon as it's over, the pain stops. And then you have a baby. A baby! So worth it.
4. Get help after the baby is born. Hire, ask, don't be shy. And when people ask you what they can bring you tell them, maxipads, food and a shoulder to cry on. Cute outfits are cute, but you don't really need those. You're gonna want the food. Tell your friends to drop off dinner and snacks because you're gonna be too tired to cook, let alone eat properly. You also may cry every day at the same time. Thoughts will range from "I'm so happy, I love my little baby," to "OHMYGOD what have I done?" Both are normal.
5. The whole breastfeeding thing: see #3. Do what is right for you and your baby. Don't be pressured. It may work out, it may not. Give yourself a break. The number one piece of advice I give to women who are pregnant is to hire a lactation consultant as soon as the baby is born. Well worth the money. You'll need someone to show you with your own titties. And call them titties if you want. Our doula keep looking at me funny every time I referenced my tits instead of breasts. Believe me, I had tits. I went from a 32A to a 34D. They were TITS.
6. Bring this stuff to the hospital: a robe that you don't care about, flip flops (in case you are sharing a bathroom), extra maxipads, snacks, moisturizer, lip gloss (For those first few pictures. Yes, you will be glowing, but a little gloss is nice too.), something comfortable to go home in, something easy to dress the baby in for the trip home, a camera, and your own pillow. Less is more.
7. Accept the fact that people are gonna say stupid stuff to you. They're gonna call your baby girl a boy, they're gonna make a face after you tell them what you've named it and if you live in a hippie crunchy area like I do, they are gonna stare at your chest to suss out if you are breastfeeding or not. When I stopped bfing, some anonymous woman in a store looked at my pancakes and asked me if I was nursing. "Just my husband," I said. Learn lines like that. It helps.
8. Take it one feeding at a time, one day at a time (not like Mackenzie Phillips though). It's hard at first and not that much fun but it gets better. Don't think too far into the future because the future is a'comin' anyway. And it's gonna be great. Know that.
9. Please, don't read any birthing books. And if you have What To Expect, throw it out. It should be called What To Fear. Enough already. Watch crap TV, read magazines and glance at books like Dr. Sears Baby Book because he doesn't believe in scaring the bejesus out of people. Please avoid watching A Baby Story on TLC. PLEASE. Also, stay away from online discussion chats. I won't go into what happened to me (ok, someone asked what I thought of the name Aryan and I went ballistic) -- not good for you or the baby.
10. Know that you can't break the baby. You may make mistakes but who doesn't? Babies cry and sometimes they poop sideways at you. They get hideous baby acne at around 3 weeks and then at around 6 weeks, well then, they smile at you. Remember that the next time they pee in your hair.
11. Go to the local mommy group. It may suck, but go. Get out. Get dressed. Don't worry, no one is really fitting into their pre-preg clothes right away. Put on some lipstick. You may or may not click with everyone, but chances are there will be one person there who gets it and gets you and you can then ditch the group and just meet with her. Oh, and don't sit next to the know-it-all mom who looks at you like she has gas.
I think that's enough for now. Heed this advice or chuck it. That's the thing, you have a choice. Remember that.
Copyright 2007